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My name is Sandra and I was born and raised as one of Jehovah's
Witnesses along with 6 other siblings. From the time I was just a little girl
going to kindergarten I felt a special love for Jesus; I attribute that love
to a very special lady named Mrs. Kayward, my bus driver. Every morning she
would hold sing-a-longs on the bus reciting some of her favorite Christian
songs. The ones I remember most are "Jesus Loves Me", and "The
B-I-B-L-E". I would go home singing those songs, which my mother never
made too much of a fuss over, but would encourage me to sing Kingdom songs
from the Kingdom Melodies book instead. Singing to Jesus was to worship him
and that was a no-no because only Jehovah was to be worshiped. I couldn't
help myself, as the song says in our Christian hymnals, "There's just
something about that name". There was something about that name that
touched my heart and made me feel a special closeness that I had never felt
before; not even for the Jehovah's Witnesses. I felt life when I sang about
the Lord. He loved me and I loved him back. |
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Through-out the years of calling myself a Jehovah's Witness and attending
the Kingdom Hall, I never forgot that feeling, that bond I felt with the Lord
Jesus but in fear of disrespecting Jehovah I had to shelf those memories and
feelings, as only He (Jehovah) was worthy to be praised. As I became more
involved in the organization and became a pioneer in the ministry I tried to
shake the feelings of doubt in the organizations teachings. I tried to ignore
the little voice in my head and the tug in my heart to search out the truth
for fear I would be viewed as an apostate and would loose the love, approval,
and fellowship of my friends and family. |
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As I was out in service one day I came across some scriptures that
troubled me. They didn't make sense and surely didn't support what I had been
taught all these years was the truth. I questioned an elder's wife about the
scriptures and, as always, was told that it was just the Devil trying to pull
me away from Jehovah and the truth. In the back of my mind I wondered if it
was really the Devil or someone else, someone who years ago, as a little
girl, I had given my heart to; my Lord, my God, my Savior Jesus Christ. |
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Still uncertain and afraid I continued going from door to door feeling
like a hypocrite, telling people about an organization that would save them
from God's impending fury at Armageddon. I sunk into a deep depression and
suffered severe panic attacks. I felt like I was loosing my mind. Then one
day I was at this door talking to an old man about the current Watchtower
publication when an overly excited woman approached me from behind. She asked
me if I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses and I said, "Yes". She asked
me who my God was and I said, "Jehovah". She then asked me if the
apostle Thomas had the same God as I, again I replied, "Yes". Then
she turned to John |
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I began to pour my heart out to the Lord and ask him to show me the
truth. I asked him to show me the way and I would follow no matter what the
cost. I knew it wouldn't be easy so I asked Jesus to give me the strength I
needed to leave the organization and tell my friends and family that I didn't
want to be a member of the organization anymore, as it was an organization
based on lies and false prophecies of men who were lead by the devil to
defame the name and truths of the Lord Jesus Christ. |
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I had made up my mind that my love for the Lord far outweighed any
fear of what people would say or think. Jesus gave me the courage of a lion and
I acted on his direction by writing a letter to the local congregation asking
them to remove me from their books as a member. It caused quite a stir. I had
to meet before the elders; my ex-husband being one of the men present as an
elder in training. I felt like I was being sentenced to death. In their eyes
I was. I told them that I believed that Jesus was (is) God and that the
organization was one of the false prophets that has been misleading God's
people. Then I shared a scripture with them, the one found at Jeremiah 14:14-
"They prophecy lies in my name: I sent them not, neither have I
commanded them, neither spake unto them: they prophecy unto you a false
vision and divination, and a thing of naught, and the deceit of their
heart". Then I read John 1:1- "In the beginning was the Word
(Jesus), and the Word was with God (the Father), and the Word was God" (the
one who created), not a god. I continued with verse 3- "ALL THINGS (
not all other things) were created By HIM (Jesus); and without him WAS NOT
ANYTHING made that was made". There was silence. Just like Daniel in
the lion's den, there mouths were shut, and hopefully their eyes were opened.
I pray so. Then came the true test of facing my family; especially my mother
who I love dearly. My eldest brother called me to say good-bye. My younger
brother called to say that from that day forward I ceased to exist; I was
dead to him. My sisters will not speak to me unless absolutely necessary and
my mother hung up the phone on me the first three times I called. |
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Now, three years later, she is coming around and carries on a
respectable conversation with me. We even discuss what I believe according to
the Bible from time to time and she respectfully listens to my views. She has
even stated that the points I have made make sense. The question is, is she
just saying that to get me to shut up or does she, somewhere in her mind,
have her doubts about the organizations teachings? I believe in my heart that
she knows that there is more to the truth than what she has been taught and
is anxious to hear more but is also afraid of the consequences; what the
family might think. I will have an opportunity to share more with her this
summer when she comes up from |
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Despite the disowning of my other family members, the Lord has blessed
me with love, forgiveness, and a hope for them that someday he will knock on
the door of their hearts and remove the veil from their eyes, as he did mine.
It hasn't been easy not being able to share my life and my son's life with my
fleshly brothers and sisters. But now I have been blessed with an even larger
family-God's family of true Christians who love us unconditionally. The
scripture that the Lord shared with me in regards to sacrifices we must make
for his name sake, especially where my family was concerned was Matthew
10:29-30- "No man has left house, or brothers, or sisters, or
mothers, or fathers, or wife, or children, or lands for my name sake and the
gospel that will not gain a hundred fold of houses, and brothers, and
sisters, and mothers, and fathers, and children, and lands, with
persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life". That was the
scripture that showed me what I had to do no matter what the cost. I wilfully
sacrificed my marriage, my family, my life for the love, truth, and grace of
the Lord. I regret nothing. The Lord has renewed that special bond, that warm
glow in my heart, that feeling of unconditional love that can only be found
in a close personal relationship with him and is shared with all those who
recognize him as their Lord, God, and personal Savior. |
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I am now a born again Christian and have been singing praises and
worshiping the Lord with great joy at Parkside Assembly of God Church here in
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Mrs. Kayward, my old school bus driver, passed away a few years ago, I
was told, with cancer and is living in glory as we speak. She also lives
on in my heart and memory and I will be eternally grateful to her for the
love she shared with me of the Lord Jesus Christ which has changed my life
forever. I am most grateful, however, to Jesus for never leaving my side,
even when I was lost in the falsehood of the Jehovah's Witness organization.
He truly is faithful. |
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Much Christian love, |
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Sandra L. Sharp |