3. What must I do to know who is the woman God has appointed to be my wife?




Now brother, before I answer your question, I want to give this important introduction. Beloved in the Lord, first of all you must understand and bear in mind that God loves you very much, and He manifested this love toward you, too, by sending His Son into the world so that you might live through Him; secondly, that God cares for you, He is interested in your good, in other words, He thinks only of doing good to you. Another thing you must understand and bear in mind is that God knows you fully, He knows your deepest desires, He knows all your needs. Nobody else knows so well your heart and your ways as God. One more thing, know this, that He can do all things, nothing is impossible with God; the hearts of all men are in His hand and He turns them wherever He wishes in order to fulfil His plans for them. And last but not least, you must understand and bear in mind that the steps of men are directed by God, yes, by our God; obviously, we walk, but our way is not in ourselves because it is God who directs our steps. He causes us to meet those people He wants us to meet, and we meet them in the way and at the time appointed by God.

Now what you must do to know or to find out who is the person God wants you to marry (obviously, provided that you have been called to get married because as you know there are some believers who have not been called to get married, as it is written: “Each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that” 1 Corinthians 7:7 – NKJV) is this: be perfectly quiet, and trust with all your heart in the Lord. “In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength” (Isaiah 30:15), says the Scripture. Knowing that our God is so great, powerful and wise, and that He loves us so much and wants to give us the best, you must be quiet and trust in the Lord.

Your unshakeable faith in God will lead you to pray, for if you believe that God loves you, knows you fully and wants to give you and can give you the desire of your heart in accordance with His will, you will certainly call upon His name so that He might supply your need. The apostle Paul says: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7 - NKJV). As you can see, prayer will have positive effect on you in that God will guard your heart and mind by causing His peace, which surpasses all understanding, to reign in your heart. The prophet Isaiah, who lived several centuries before Paul, expressed this concept in these terms: “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because He trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3 – NKJV). Therefore, even if your prayer has not yet been answered by God, know this, that if you continue to trust in God, without doubting, the great peace of God you feel in your heart will be the sign attesting that God delights in you, for you trust in His name with all your heart. Yes, because God takes pleasure in those who have faith in Him, who hope in His faithfulness and goodness, and He rewards them, during their wait, with His great and precious peace.

Pray God without ceasing. Know this, that God’s ears are open to your prayer, He sees your tears, He considers even your sighs and at His appointed time He will answer your prayer.

Your confidence in God, however, will lead you not only to pray God so that He might supply your need but also to behave seriously toward the unmarried sisters you will meet. In other words, you will not take pleasure in courting all the unmarried sisters you will meet – as some do among the Churches – because you want to court only the sister who is to become your wife by God’s set purpose. So you will avoid flirtations, lest you delude yourself and others. Perhaps you will say: ‘How can I be sure that I am courting the right woman?’ You can be sure you are courting the right woman because when one has an unshakeable confidence in God and he prays to Him without ceasing, he knows for certain in his heart that when he meets the woman chosen by God a great and wonderful thing will take place in both his heart and her heart. I mean that it will come to pass that God will stir up both spirits and will direct both hearts toward one another. In other words, God will cause them to fall in love with one another. Perhaps the spark that will kindle this fire in both hearts will seem very strange and unusual to some, but I assure you that the fire will be kindled. One thing is certain, in both hearts, by God’s set purpose, a true and great love will begin between you and the woman whom God appointed for you, whom God will cause you to meet when you don’t expect to meet her. Then you will say, to yourself first and then to her: “You have ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; you have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes” (Song of Solomon 4:9 – NKJV), and likewise she will say about you: “I am my beloved’s. And his desire is toward me” (Song of Solomon 7:10 - NKJV). Therefore, your hearts will be joined together by God, who wants you to live together till death do you part.

I would like to tell you another thing. Before you meet your wife, God may give you a revelation, by a vision or a dream or an audible voice, by which He tells you clearly who is the person you will marry. Obviously, your future wife also may receive a revelation from God, thus when you meet each other for the first time both of you know already that God wants you to get married. God may give you the revelation even after you have met the woman who is to become your wife (for instance, in case the woman has been attending the same church you attend or another church you visit from time to time). Sometimes, therefore not always, God works in this manner. However, one thing is certain, no matter how God will cause you to meet each other, God will cause you to fall in love with one another, and not only this, He will also make your paths straight so that you may get married and live together.

In conclusion, brother, I exhort you to have faith in God; He will not disappoint you nor confuse you in your hope, because He will give you the desire of your heart, what you ask Him in faith. Wisdom says: “He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11 – NKJV), therefore wait for Him with faith and patience. Amen.